This post actually has nothing to do with love, hahaha. TRICKED YOU! :) I'm supposed to be writing my lit paper right now, but if I don't put a certain random thought down I will forget it.
We're all human and view each other as humans, yet we hide our true nature because for others to see it would be shameful and to see the true nature of others is too much to handle. I feel like I'm clumsily wording things and apologize for it. I wish I were more eloquent. Everyone has the desire to be accepted and has their secret wants, but if others knew of their true manner they believe they won't be accepted. My theory is that if everyone put all their real thoughts out there we would be amazed at how similar they are. We all get angry and want to do terrible things, or we get lonely and wish we could call someone at 3 a.m. but because we don't want to inconvenience others a lot of amazing conversations go unsaid.
I started thinking of all this because a friend who lives off campus and I were at a friend's dorm last night. I asked him to drive me back to my dorm cos it was quite chilly at 3 a.m. We talked as we walked to the parking lot and when we got into the car I immediately put on my seatbelt. My friend had started the engine already and had his seatbelt on as well but he kept the car in park. I didn't know what he was waiting for. He started talking about how his relationship with friends had changed after moving off campus. We sat and talked in the empty parking lot. I didn't think much of it at the time, but remembering it, I feel like it was something profound. (I sound pompous. Sorry. I need to expand my vocabulary ._.) It was something raw and real, that feeling you get after a really fun day with friends, when you're evaluating why today was so fun. There's a certain depression that comes with the realization that it's because you guys don't see each other often. A certain bittersweet feeling. I admire my friend, for feeling comfortable enough to just sit in the car and not drive and talk about his thoughts. Is that strange? Perhaps he does this with everyone.
Loneliness is a terrible thing. I was watching a movie yesterday and the mother in it was telling her daughter that when you're feeling lonely, just think about how everyone else has felt lonely before, so therefore you're all in it together. How stupid is that. How is that suppose to make your widowed daughter feel better??
If only writing a paper was as easy as writing a blog entry~ :-/
